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woke up at like 2:30 in the morning and was being a total anxiety baby. I have a lot of terror about break-ins and killers and things that are so unlikely, but like I have been convinced since early childhood that something terrible is lurking behind every corner/in every closet/behind the shower curtain/in any room I can’t see. so of course the cat was moving around while I was being wakeful and anxious. now she and I are both on the couch and everything is quiet.
except, um, it’s 3 am and I’m awake
Last meeting with my psychiatrist this morning before she transitions out and a new doctor takes over my case. I’ve met and like the new doctor, but the current one has been handling my case since I arrived here, before all the hospital adventures. Big changes.
it’s all lonelyapron's fault that I just bought like $35 of books (but I mean, like I bought 11 books….)
I don’t know where I am going to put them
I am half-heartedly trying to do a music purge of stuff shitty people have ruined for me, but like, I am mad about it and want to keep the things, but they also make me kind of want to throw up.
established: I definitely have to (have already) get rid of “Myriad Harbor” by the New Pornographers.
particularly cranky about Mountain Goats stuff cause I’ve been a fan on and off for years, but I can probs just eliminate a few songs there, and those don’t include very favorites like “Pink and Blue”
other things are less contentious, but also I need to delete some playlist titles and stuff and that is all kinds of alarm bells because I love mixes but I’m gonna do it. gotta keep an eye on older stuff too.
during my sister’s birthday my aunt was basically like, ‘oh if HS you could see you now” and I wanted to die a little bit even thinking about HS me re: music…
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